Expectations

Expectations are our blessing and our curse at the same time.
They protect our nervous system from the uncertainty of the new —
but they also create a lens that gradually blurs reality.

We can approach relationships in two ways.
We can start gently, see things as they are, face the bumps early, work through them,
and only then arrive at a calmer, more grounded phase.

Or we can enter a relationship “protected” by our expectations,
postponing the unknown, hoping it will settle itself later.
The second path feels more comfortable —
and comfort is often what people choose.

We move forward looking through this lens,
noticing only what aligns with it.
Everything else becomes invisible.

It may change, grow, multiply —
but we do not see it, because we are still protected.

And this works — until it doesn’t.

One day, the lens breaks.
It can be triggered by a word, an action, something unexpected —
it doesn’t really matter.

What matters is that suddenly we see the whole picture,
and cannot understand how we have not seen it before.

We are so used to living in a lensed reality,
entering lensed relationships,
that we begin to believe this is reality itself.

Perhaps the question is not whether we have a lens.

The question is whether we ever take it off.